I am not mean! I am not genetically programmed to be mean! There are times when I raise my voice, wave you off, or even shout back at you using harsh words. But rest assured that that man, the man who does all that, is not Vendy! He is the shield and the guard I put on to protect myself from the vulnerability. If there is anything I have learned as a person, it must be the fact that being nice, in a bigger broader sense, only lands you in a place where you are treated badly. There was a time not long ago when I believed being nice was the key to successful communication between people, but guess what? I WAS DARN WRONG! What happened was I got taken for granted, and people made you feel like being nice was a disease! It made me feel being nice was more like a genetic mutation that scared and chased them off! If you ask me now whether the ugly, more monstrous side of me that has come out eats up the nicer one, the answer is NO! No, it hasn't, and I think it never will! The niceness is just being masked and is lurking somewhere down there. But I just feel safer not to let this nicer part of me--this vulnerability--come out again. I just cannot be entirely honest about my feelings. Neither can I do nice things I want to. Like what I have mentioned earlier, these things will scare people off one way or another, and therefore, they are better off being kept safe somewhere known just to me, myself.